Toys R' Ronin
by Sarah Barnes
Summary: A trip to the mall goes horriblly wrong when Kento spots a Toy Store.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Toy's R Ronins

By: Sarah Barnes

Warning: ...None unless you have some strange dolly-phobia.

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"Come on guys!! You're gonna to love it!" Kento squealed with glee and dashed into the toy store. Sai shook his head in dismay. 

"Why did they put a KB's Kiddy department by a bookstore?" He asked checking his watch and scowling at its reading.

Rowan shrugged. "We all knew it was in the mall.... I blame myself." He looked at the colorful bargain signs and cheap front rack action figures and grimaced. 

"If only I hadn't needed that copy of 'Beowulf'."

Sage walked over to the rack and shuffled through the dollar fifty specials. "I'd have to agree with you Ro. You've sealed our fate with this little mall trip of yours." He looked up at the neon toy solider of the store sign. "We'll never get him out of there." He sighed.

With perfect nonchalance, Sage examined a Red Lion Voltron(tm) figurine.

"We'll probably have to battle every sale and casher in the place to get him out with his wallet."

"His room is filled up as it is with his 'hobbies'." Ryo pointed out. Rummaging thru a basket of plastic wrappers he was just reaching for a singing hamster (you've seen them you know you have. ^_~).

"AAAAIIIIIiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!" The four Ronin Warriors snapped to attention. They knew that sound. It filled their nightmares. A truer horror Talpa himself could not have conceived. 

That sound.

Kento had found...a toy.

With a speed that truly defined their secrete lives as powerful troopers, they raced into the depths of the toy aisles.

Splitting up would prove to be both a blessing and a cruse. On the one hand each had a good chance of finding Kento, cornering him, and force him to relinquish his purchase. However now none had the benefit of group support to resist the glowing, glittering, temptation of cute fuzzies and hard-plastic limited-edition merchandise.

To be Continued.

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If you want more Ronin Warrior humor, go to the Anime Misc. section and check out my other fic. "Talk Justice". Thanks! ^_^


	2. If It's Snuggly It Could Kill You

Chapter 2: "If it's Snuggly It Could Kill You."  
  
  
  
Sai ran along the baby and toddler aisle.  
  
In his haste, the British ronin upset a small shelf display of stuffed dogs. Hating to leave a mess, Sai knelt down and began to rearrange the cuddly delights. As he lifted the last one he noticed it was different from the others. Sai gasped in surprise.  
  
It was Kipper the Dog™!! Sitting and grinning in his display box, enticing all to press his paw or hug him to hear him talk.  
  
Sai cautiously skimmed up and down the aisle and bit his lip.  
  
"They'll never know…" he reasoned. He pushed his better judgment aside and began to pet the animal between its slightly lop-sided ears.  
  
"I won't pet him!" Sai stated forcefully and placed the dog back in its row. The blue-eyed ronin had all intention to turn and walk away from the obscenely cute cartoon idol. However, his feet had other plans and wouldn't budge from the display.  
  
Slowly, Sai reached out a trembling hand and squeezed Kipper's paw.  
  
"Hullo you!" The chortling pleasant voice with its adorable and familiar accent struck a cord with Sai's inner child. Before long the British youth had gone thru all of the happy puppy's catch phrases and was checking the price.  
  
Half off. All his reservations gone, Sai snatched up Kipper in a snuggle, box and all, and made his way to the cash register.  
  
****(((((((((^_^))))))))****Meanwhile****  
  
"Damnit Kento!! Come back!"  
  
For such a heavy looking guy Kento was making good time in his escape from Sage. Kento was barreling down pathways and making split decision turns like they did while battling Talpa.  
  
Sage was wearing down. He slackened his pace allowing Hardrock the chance to escape.  
  
Sage stopped, panting from exertion in the middle of the aisle. After a time he looked around to determine his surroundings. Puzzles and board games.  
  
Slowly he began to march, eyes darting suspiciously back and forth, toward the end of the aisle.  
  
He would've made it too. If not for the gleaming box on the top shelf. Violet eyes squinted as the ronin of Halo attempted to read the games title. Having only minimal success, Sage decided that the pain of not knowing was infinitely worse then that of breeching his discipline.  
  
Placing one foot on the second to last shelf and pulling upward on the shelf just under the box Sage stretched and grasped his prize.  
  
And fell on his bum.  
  
When Sage came too he found himself half buried in Clue™ boards and chess sets. Lying on his stomach was the glittering box…a version of monopoly.  
  
Sage studied the lid curiously. Brightly colored Disney™ characters pranced and flew everywhere on its deep blue surface.  
  
Smiling, Sage stood and neatly replaced all the boxes he'd toppled. Then he placed his treasure under his arm and walked to the storefront.  
  
TBC  
  
Author Notes: It isn't great, but, it ain't terrible. Please review. At the very least tell me if it's funny. Thanks ^_^! 


	3. Can I be Your Dolly?

Chapter 3: "I'm Your Dolly."  
  
(Disclaimer: I own nothing and make money off of nothing. I am not trying to promote or discredit any toy, manufacture, or department store. Thank you.)  
  
  
  
"Lost in Barbie hell!! Where am I?" Ryo turned full circle for what must have been the hundredth time. No matter which direction he tried (there being only two) the results were the same. Pink walls, plastic jewelry, and smiling busty beauties.  
  
Now Ryo looked to them for inspiration and received nothing but their blank cheerfulness and inhuman cup size.  
  
It was ridiculous to think that anyone would allow his or her child to play with such a bogus rack. Without thinking, Ryo picked up a display doll and examined its breast.  
  
"What's that man doing Mommy?"  
  
"Look away child!"  
  
Ryo jumped at the sound of voices and dropped the doll immediately. Blushing furiously, the leader of the Ronins scanned the aisle for the mother and daughter.  
  
"Hey, wait!! I'm not a pervert, I was just noting the false and repressive outlook of today's society on women!!" His protest fell on rubber ears. Ryo sighed in defeat.  
  
Suddenly, from the corner of his eye, Ryo spotted a blue box at a far end. A glimmer of hope stabbed through his momentary depression. Jumping up he raced toward it, praying it was some kind of GI Joe™ or Max Steel™ model.  
  
Without hesitating to confirm the dolls masculinity, Ryo snatched the box and hugged it protectively.  
  
"Now what is he doing?"  
  
"We are NEVER shopping at this branch again!!"  
  
Ignoring the mother's comment completely, Wildfire examined the toy.  
  
It wasn't a GIJoe™. It was Sailor Moon™.  
  
Ryo let out a squeal, much like Kento's, and grabbed up the remaining Sailor Scout mini figurines. After arranging them for easy transport Ryo turned…and found himself standing beside the pay counter with Sai and Sage.  
  
******TBC*******  
  
Author's Note: If you love Ronins, find joy in Gundams, and have a sweet tooth for Saiyans, then you need to try "Talk Justice". Found in the Anime Miscellaneous section. 


End file.
